Thursday, June 22, 2006

Face-Lift 80


Guess the Plot

Blood and Skin

1. A clumsy dermatologist comes to terms with his ineptitude and finds love with a plastic surgeon who looks terrific in a bikini thanks to her do-it-herself surgeries.

2. Sometimes a vampire needs more than just a drink. In Blood and Skin, Kevin Nivek takes a job as a night coroner in the D.C. morgue to satisfy his hunger for... well... blood and skin.

3. Young Davey MacDonald is sent from Scotland to his paternal uncle’s home in the Midwest. One day, in the forbidden kitchen of Uncle Roald’s fast food restaurant, Davey makes a devastating discovery.

4. Though Lisa died seven years ago, her ghost continues to make tattooist Sam Roark's life a living hell in this supernatural thriller set amid Minnesota's body piercing and tattooing subculture.

5. A pair of retro undercover cops, one black, one white, hunt an elusive Russian mob boss and discover she’s blonde, beautiful, and ready to experiment.

6. Nothing less than a burned and bloodly corpse could force Hematologist Mark Ungaro to work with Dr. Kimberly Bishop at Presbyterian Hospital. Kim, a Park Avenue dermatologist, had treated his wife into a mid-life crisis and ruined his marriage.


Original Version

Dear xx:

Tattooist Sam Roark is a haunted man. [For those who are interested, Evil Editor has three tattoos: On my back I have the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel; on my stomach, a road map of Bangkok; and the third one is a cruise missile--I don't think I'll tell you where that one is.] All he wants is a simple, peaceful life. Draw up a few tattoos, do a few piercings and get to know Bex, the pretty New Zealand tourist with the blond dreadlocks. [A tourist from New Zealand visits the U.S., and goes to Minnesota? And sticks around long enough to get to know a tattoo artist?] [Maybe she's touring all of America's tattooing hotbeds. You know, LA, Miami, New York, Winnebago.] The only problem is Lisa Torres. Almost seven years since the night of her death, there's no way she's about to give up and let Sam get on with his life. Though powerless to actually harm him, she has countless ways to make his life a living hell.

But when a very physical, flesh and blood attempt is made on Sam's life, it quickly becomes apparent that her hunger for revenge [Revenge for what? Did he murder her? ] has found an ally among the living. It's an alliance the ghost soon learns to fear and regret. As guilty and innocent alike begin to die, [Guilty and innocent of what?] Sam's search for the killer forces him to descend into a world of lies and deception, where everyone is driven by dark engines of pain and fear and no one is what they seem. Could Sam's hidden enemy be his deeply twisted former lover Tash, [How many deeply twisted former lovers does this guy have?] jealous rival and self-styled dark magician Marcus, [He's like David Copperfield, except that when Copperfield brings you back after making you disappear, you still have your soul.] or even someone he always considered a trusted friend?

Blood and Skin is a complete first person 98,000 word supernatural thriller set in Minnesota's tattooing and body piercing subculture.

The first few pages are enclosed to give you a feel for my style. If you'd like to read more about Sam and Bex and the dangers they face, I'll be happy to provide sample chapters and a synopsis, a partial or the complete manuscript.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,


Revised Version

Dear xx:

Tattoo artist Sam Roark is a haunted man. Literally. All he wants is a simple, peaceful life: draw up a few tattoos, do a few piercings, and get to know Bex, the pretty New Zealander with the blond dreadlocks. The only problem is Lisa Torres. Seven years ago, Sam botched Lisa's tattoos, putting the bear trap on her left breast and the shark's mouth on the right, instead of vice versa. In the fight that followed, Lisa was stabbed to death by a navel piercing needle. Now, she refuses to let Sam get on with his life. Though powerless to physically harm him, she has countless ways to make his life a living hell.

When a flesh and blood attempt is made on Sam's life, it becomes apparent that Lisa's hunger for revenge has found an ally among the living. But who? The cops don't have a clue. As Sam's customers die, one by one, Sam realizes his tattoo business will soon dry up--unless he can stop the killer first.

Blood and Skin is a complete first person 98,000 word supernatural thriller set amid Minnesota's tattooing and body piercing subculture. The first few pages are enclosed to give you a feel for my style. If you'd like to read more about Sam and Bex and the dangers they face, I'll be happy to provide sample chapters and a synopsis, a partial or the complete manuscript. Thank you.

Sincerely,


Notes

As always, if Evil Editor has incorrectly guessed the specifics of your plot, feel free to substitute your own less-entertaining specifics.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Minions RULE!

Kudos to those "Guess the plot" options. Some great stories in there!

Anonymous said...

Evil Editor, you rock. It's not kissing butt if you praise EE anonymously.

Minion, who thinks EE is way cooler than MS

Jane said...

Perhaps "Lisa's hunger for revenge has driven her to find an ally among the living?" As is, it's the hunger itself that's allied.

Anonymous said...

Of course EE is cooler than MS! Anyone with a cruise missile tattooed on his tender parts is freaking sick!

(note: in the parlance of our times, sick somehow connotes coolness. I don't quite get it myself, but there it is.)

Anonymous said...

My wife has made me promise that I would never marry again if she is the first to go. Trust me, that is one promise I will keep!

Maybe that is why the late lover is seeking revenge. She made him promise and he broke it. -JTC

Anonymous said...

*looks at this*

*looks at Life, Love, and a Polar Bear Tattoo*

*switches titles*

Anonymous said...

Too bad . . . I guessed correctly, but when I saw tattoo artist and ghost in the same description, I thought the ghost was going to possess one of his tattoos and then walk around his body as a zombie tattoo. I'm really upset.

Anonymous said...

I want you right now, EE, if only to see where exactly the third tattoo is located and what it can do.

Anonymous said...

[For those who are interested, Evil Editor has three tattoos: On my back I have the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel; on my stomach, a road map of Bangkok; and the third one is a cruise missile--I don't think I'll tell you where that one is.]

omg. LOL! If I knew you better, EE, I'd send you a picture of a guy with a dragon in full flight. Ouch.