Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Practice Query #2


Dear Evil One,

Apologies for the small handwriting but I am seeking representation for my 80,000 word thriller THE LEPRECHAUN CONNECTION and I'm not the tallest guy in the world.

See that last d? And the period? Took me half an hour to paint those. Ma said it'd be quicker to use a yard broom but that feels disrespectful given your credentials. So I'm sticking with a regular paintbrush. Horse bristles.

TUESDAY

So. Anyway. My thriller.

I figure a hard-boiled private eye will play well in the current socio-political climate. Vampires and werewolves are so yesterday. And thanks to the British royal family, interest in princesses has blossomed worldwide, so (genre bust ahoy!) my thriller combines the two.

WEDNESDAY

Back hurts a little. Will return tomorrow. I suppose I should have written 'tom' there and kept things simple to demonstrate my understanding of conciseness and editing etc but I left it in because industriousness and tenacity are bigger hitters in my book, especially when it comes to other people's books. Take Grisham. The guy's a sticker, a worker, a winner.

SATURDAY

Apols. In hosp.

Plot:

Eye rescues princesc
godam yard broom

If U want more, doc says I'm gtg for visits after 5pm.

Thx 4 tm & cons.

Rafferty O Flafferty O Lafferty

FRIDAY

PS:
This dbls as follow-up 4 in 3 months.


--Whirlochre

4 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

So strange, so quirky, so enjoyable! I should have guessed who wrote it before I got to the end!

Dave Fragments said...

This is a stunning query. I've been speechless all day.

AlaskaRavenclaw said...

$5 says the leprechaun will get a book tour.

khazar-khum said...

I'd only accept this if it was painted on the wall of a building I see every day. Great big letters, so I can share the pain.